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ADHD adults are prone to feelings of overwhelm and often feel like everyone is moving forward, while they can’t seem to make any progress in life. Meanwhile, they have so many plates spinning, so many things they want to do, but feel paralyzed because they don’t know where to start. So instead, they do nothing.
If that is how you feel, I want you to know that I have been there, and you are absolutely not alone.
This World Wasn’t Made For ADHD Brains (hence the overwhelm)
Feelings of overwhelm rarely travels alone. You probably feel a lot of shame and disappointment in yourself, and you might lack self-trust because you start things but never finish them.
I know how frustrating that can feel, but I want you to know something: Even though you may believe that you are somehow broken or flawed, you are absolutely not. Your brain was simply designed for a world that we do not live in.
Understanding the ADHD Brain and Nervous System
To understand this better, let’s go back in human history, to when we were hunter-gatherers. There’s a theory about our busy brains: we were not the gatherers who picked berries and kept things running at the homestead. We were the hunters, the ones who could go out and expend a great deal of energy to hunt down prey.
Our energy + focus was used in sprints rather than performing day-to-day routine tasks. Our nervous systems were (and still are) highly attuned to the environment so that we could hunt down prey and avoid becoming prey ourselves. This means that when we found our prey, we would hyper-focus and use all our energy to succeed, then return to our communities to relax and regenerate until it was time to hunt again.
Modern-Day ADHD Overwhelm
From this perspective, you can see how our nervous systems were wired for short term stimulation followed by periods of rest.
But now, our hyper-attuned nervous systems are focused on all the other distractions in modern life, from perceived threats, to the things that interest us that we want to hunt down and achieve. There are so many things bombarding our attention that it’s no wonder we feel overwhelmed with so many spinning plates. Our systems were not designed for this much distraction.
How to Manage Distractions
You might be thinking, “That’s great, but what do I do about it?” We don’t live in a cave in the Himalayas; we live in the modern world. And while there’s no one-step solution, there is a way manage distractions through intentionally cultivating the inputs you allow into your life to ensure you get the best outputs.
Let me explain…
Managing Your Inputs
First, take a realistic look at all the inputs in your life: family, relationships, work, activities outside of work, TV, social media, etc. If you have a brain that discerns what’s important and what’s not, this might be easy to prioritize and filter. But if you have a highly sensitive nervous system and a busy brain, this is likely a weak point. So it’s up to you to carefully manage the inputs coming into your physical, emotional and digital environment. If it is not helpful, if it’s distracting, drains your energy, or makes you feel bad—it needs to go.
The better you get at managing your inputs, the better your outcomes will be in terms of managing your focus, energy and performance. This brings us to the next step: prioritizing what’s already on your plate.
A Simple Framework for Prioritizing Your Commitments
For those with ADHD, prioritization is tough. It’s an executive function we often struggle with. A helpful framework is to examine your commitments through the lens of your extrinsic vs. intrinsic motivators. Our extrinsic motivators are ego-driven: money, social media followers, status symbols, etc. They often don’t bring true satisfaction because we either keep pushing the goal further, or we achieve it and find the feelings of satisfaction are fleeting.
Take some time to evaluate the areas of your life where you’re chasing external motivators (aka external validation). Question whether or not they are deserving of your precious energy and attention. The more you can reduce these distractions, the better off you will be.
Conversely, intrinsic motivations are driven by personal interest. These are things you are innately curious about, things you love, without external pressures. From an ADHD perspective, aligning your life towards intrinsic motivations will make everything feel easier. You’ll follow through more, and be less distracted by external measures.
ADHD Prioritization Exercise – Getting Clear on Your Intrinsic Motivations
Let’s put this framework into action with a quick exercise for clarity:
Take a minute to relax, close your eyes, breathe deeply, and soften tense areas of your body.
Now visualize your future self. Imagine yourself six months to a year from now, clear on your motivations, and focused on taking action toward your goals.
What is your future self truly excited about? Think about your intrinsic motivations – those interests that feel second nature to you. How do you see your future self engaged in those interests?
Feel It: Focus on the feeling of accomplishing intrinsic goals. How does it feel in your body?
Identify Your Focus: Ask yourself, “What is the one thing in my life right now that, if I focused on it, would bring me closest to that future self?”
Now, write down your answer immediately, and don’t overthink it. Our brains try to distort these ideas quickly with self-doubt, because it’s the brain’s job to keep you safe (and need for safety can often keep us stuck in fear).
Committing to Your One Thing
Now, think about that one thing. Are you willing to put it ahead of everything causing chaos and dedicate the required time, energy, and resources to move in the direction you truly want? If yes, wonderful! It’s time to create a plan of action and follow through. If you need more support, my productivity program, Distraction Action, is designed specifically for ADHD’ers who struggle with planning and follow through.
If you struggled to identify your “one thing”, keep practicing envisioning your future self engaged in your deepest curiosities and interests.
ADHD’ers Do Best When They’re Aligned With Intrinsic Motivations
The secret to ADHD success is to align your life with intrinsic motivations. It’s a practice of constant reassessment and commitment to what truly matters to you.
I hope this guide helps you manage your inputs, reduce overwhelm, and get on track to living the life you envision.
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