Time + Energy

We have three precious resources in this life - time, energy and money. Money comes and goes, but your time and energy are precious. Spend them wisely because you can't buy back time and energy to do the things you want to do in this life is everything.

Character Strengths + Values: The Secret Sauce for ADHD

September 12, 2021 by CM Leave a Comment

Character Strengths Resources Mentioned in this Podcast

PERMA test (stands for Positive Emotion, Engagement, Relationships and Meaning Assessment)
Via Character Strengths
Personal Values Inventory
340 Ways to Use the Via Character Strengths

What are Character Strengths?

Character strengths are truly the essence of who you are. They encapsulate how you show up in the world, either in relationship with others, or all by yourself. Your character strengths are at the core of your personality.
That said, character is malleable and can change over time based on seasons of life, the roles you play and the responsibilities you show up for every day.

How are Character Strengths Different from Values?

Your values are what you hold most important. That said, your values don’t always align with the things you are currently spending your time and energy on. For example, you may value your health and wellness, but you rarely workout and lately you’ve been eating and sleeping poorly. This may be a temporary circumstance – ie, you are traveling for work so the value misalignment will correct itself when you get back home, or it may be a longer term misalignment that happened slowly and unintentionally.

Either way, if you’re not living your values, this can lead to results you don’t want or a life you don’t enjoy.

Character strengths are different. They are less about what you do and more about how you show up, such as being a natural born leader, or having persistence and grit in everything you take on. These are the ways you approach everything you do, and it’s often largely unconscious.

Character Strengths, Values & ADHD

THere’s an important thread that weaves character strengths, values and the ADHD brain together. As we know, ADHD brains hyperfocus on what’s interesting to them. They only suffer a deficit of attention when they are uninterested in the topic or task.

Furthermore, ADHD adults struggle with self-awareness, so the process of understanding their unique strengths and values is a critical step in learning who they are, and where they thrive. With that, it is so important for adults with ADHD to take the time to know what drives them (values) and how they can draw from their character strengths to make the most of their interests.

How to Identify your Personal Values

I’ve written about this before and it can start with a very basic process of looking at a list of value statements and identifying what resonates. But a big part of that process is narrowing down the top three values that define your deepest attachments. We all have limited time, energy and resources to invest in what we care about the most, so knowing the top 3 to 5 without question, is really the important work.

The best tool I’ve come across to identify and prioritize your values is the Personal Values Assessment. I recommend taking this quick assessment and working through the prioritization exercise. It’s fast, simple and free.

How to identify your Character Strengths

The best way to evaluate your character strengths is through the Via Character Strengths Assessment tool, designed by Martin Seligman and a team of researchers at Penn State University. This is the most comprehensive test that evaluates our most common strengths across humanity, regardless of race, gender, culture or religion.

There are 24 Character Strengths in the profile, and it’s important to note that every human has these strengths. However, it’s the top 5 to 7 strengths that truly define who we are at the point in life when the test is taken. Our strengths are developed based on our upbringing, beliefs, circumstance and life roles, so they can change over time and we can intentionally work to develop areas that are less prominent or underused.

You can take the Via Character Assessment here. It takes about 20 minutes to complete, but it’s free and your scores will be saved in your profile. I encourage you to take the test every 3 to 5 years and see if there are shifts.

character strengths brain — Pin for Later

Putting Character Strengths and Values in Action

Once you have this data, take some time to think about how it shows up for you in your life when you’re at your best, and perhaps at your weakest moments. If you are an ADHD adult who is accustomed to having their weaknesses and flaws pointed out to them, this is your opportunity to look at what’s best about you. How you shine and flourish.

In terms of your values, think about whether or not the values you identified in your assessment align with how you’re spending your time and energy. Does your credit card statement reflect your values? How about your calendar?

For example, if you value health and fitness, but you spend your money on happy hours and take out food, and you don’t schedule time for the gym, that’s a value that’s strongly out of alignment.

If the idea of bringing it back into alignment seems hard or boring, think about your top character strengths and how you can use them to encourage yourself. If your strengths are kindness and gratitude, ask yourself if you’re being kind to yourself with your current choices? How can you express more gratitude for your body? What would being kinder to yourself and your body look like?

Building Character & Aligning Values

So now that you have the fundamentals of how to identify your strengths and values, you can start to make choices that are in alignment with what you truly care about, and show up in a way that reflects your authentic strengths.

As an ADHD adult, this will serve you in your self care, your work and your relationships. When you start to peel away the things that don’t matter to you or start saying no to things that don’t support your strengths, you can transform your life, career, body, marriage and relationship with yourself.

Need Help Aligning Your Strengths & Values?

If this feels like something you could use help with, then consider coaching with me. Very often it’s hard to look at ourselves objectively or see opportunities beyond our current set of beliefs. Coaching can not only help you understand where you thrive, it can help you see what’s possible and map a path to get there.

How to get what you want (without effort)

July 28, 2021 by CM Leave a Comment

How to get what you really want is a juicy topic, so grab a glass of cab and settle in. It’s a powerful concept and it works!

Desire is a funny thing.

It directs our intentions and actions, but it also comes with a ton of baggage. We desire things/people/experiences and therefore we attach an expectation to the actions we take to get what we want.

We desire a strong, fit body so we work out regularly and eat well and therefore should expect a brilliant physique to appear.

But maybe it doesn’t.

Then we get upset.

We push harder

We workout more

We restrict more

The more we push, restrict and workout, the less progress we see. But why?

Because progress can’t happen when it’s up against powerful resistance.

—> progress —> | <— resistance <—

All that pushing and restricting is really just resistance and resistance is the antithesis of progress and flow.

So how do you get what you want?

Listen to your heart, do what feels right and let go of the outcome.

Trust that it will happen if it’s supposed to happen.

Trust the process and move on with your life.

It’s the same as saving money, building a business or creating a work of art. You have to let it come from a place of desire, but not from expectation. Because as Patanjali has assured us, we’re entitled to the work, but we’re not entitled to the fruits of our labor.

So if you can’t push, what can you do instead?

Take action toward your goals, but don’t force it.
Do what feels good then trust that it’s enough.
Make your effort about the journey, not the destination.
Enjoy the process. Don’t white knuckle it.
Be focused and diligent in your action, but then step back and trust that the seeds are planted and that they just need time and space to grow.
Focus on cultivating positive energy. This, along with gratitude will bring you close to your goals.

BTW, the rate of growth is not up to you.

It’s up to the universe.

woman putting her hand out getting what she wants

Get What You Want Without Efforting

I’m not suggesting that you shouldn’t go for what it is you want, but I am suggesting that you take action that flows. Don’t do things that don’t feel aligned or true to you. That never works. And when the day is done and your head hits the pillow, trust that you’ve done your part. Leave the rest to divine intervention.

This may sound a little woo-woo, (and it is), but it’s also the process of change. It’s managing resistance while taking inspired action toward a desired future state. It’s formulaic and it works.

Next Steps |

Grab your journal and ask yourself – what is it that you truly want? At the top of the page, write down the one thing you want more than anything else right now. That thing you’ve been efforting towards.
Then, draw a vertical line down the middle of the page. On the left side of the page, write down all the things you’re doing right now to achieve it (it might be a lot, or it might be nothing!) This will be an eye-opener.
On the right side of the page, write down all the ways you can take inspired action, from the heart. If the list on the left doesn’t feel good to you, leave it there and only focus on what you’ve got on the right side of the page.

Use this method to influence your approach to health and fitness, relationships, work, and finances. Regardless of what your goal is, this framework will help you create positive change. Trust me, it WORKS!

ADHD Burnout & Passion Projects: When your dreams take you down.

July 22, 2021 by CM Leave a Comment

I could write a novel about ADHD burnout, specifically related to passion projects. You rarely hear of ADHD people complain about burning out at jobs they don’t like, because they struggle to find the motivation to even get started!

Passion projects, side hustles, and newly seeded dream careers on the other hand, are capable of robbing you of your physical and mental wellness because you have an abundance of attention that’s often unharnessed.

A Burnout of your own making

The reason ADHD passion burnout is different than career burnout is that the pressure is entirely self-induced. We are typically pushing ourselves too hard rather than being pushed by a manager or boss. Said differently, passion burnout is entirely of our own making.

I’ve seen this in the work I do with ADHD entrepreneurs, and fellow authors and bloggers. We’re all passionate folks, trying to make a name for ourselves and an impact on the world, but by taking on too much, we drown in a sea of our own unrealistic expectations.

We spend out energy in 100 different directions because we see other people’s success as a model for what’s possible and we try to model all of it. What we don’t see however, is how long it took to create that success and how much support others have contributed to the effort, and what part of it they focused on specifically.

When Hustle & Grind Doesn’t Work

Speaking from personal experience, in the past 13 years of writing, coaching and teaching, I have driven to the brink of passion burnout several times (oh, the irony!). I tend to hyper-focus and push too hard because I have goals, dreams and let’s be honest here – I see the platitudes shared on social media about hustling and grinding and I tell myself that’s what I must do to succeed!

But it never works.

So instead of meeting with success, I direct my energy in too many unintentional directions and ultimately burnout and complete creative exhaustion around a process I used to love.

Fortunately, I’ve been able to bring myself back from the brink of passion burnout by pouring back into myself, all the joy, love and energy I drained out of myself in the grind and hustle process. What I’ve learned the hard way is that hustle culture might be great for some folks (and all the power to them if that’s true), but for the ADHD brain, we need to pause, and really consider where our energy is best spent.

So based on my own experience combined with the growing research that we’re seeing around the increasing cases of burnout syndrome, I have some ideas for those of you who are pushing hard and getting nowhere but tired and disappointed.

Hear me on this, friends – I know ya’ll have dreams you want to see come to fruition, but if your energy isn’t focused on the tasks that will make the biggest impact, then you’re going to push yourself too hard.

How to Recover from ADHD Burnout

Start by re-evaluating what you’re going after.

Many ADHD passion seekers move in the general direction of what they’re looking for, but aren’t 100% sure exactly what it is. They’ll know when they get there, they say. But take it from someone who has done this – you won’t know. In fact, you’re probably so busy running in “general directions” that you have no time or awareness to stop and say – is this it?

Honestly, when was the last time you stopped to ask yourself – does this path feel right for me? Is it aligned with my strengths, interests and values?

If you haven’t, now is your chance to do that. Don’t just think about your final destination – think about the journey. Is it what you want?

When you have clarity, but it’s still not working in your favor.

Now it’s time to take stock of your beliefs. Take out a piece of paper or your journal and write down all the reasons why you know you’ll never get what you want (trust me on this). Be very specific about all the reasons why it won’t work, especially for you. Be exhaustive with your limitations – either real or imagined. List them all.

Once you’re done, you now have documented list of all the personal thought work you need to clear through before you reach your goal. One by one, you need to ask yourself – is this limiting belief 100% true? If so, list the evidence. If you have legitmiate reasons why you’re blocked, now is the time to start working through those blocks.

This is much easier to do with the help of a coach.

You don’t have to stop working towards your goal as you do your thought work, but if you don’t make a point of working through all your limiting blocks as well, you will continue spin your wheels.

Don’t underestimate the power of internal resistance to getting what you want. The more you try and push against your resistance instead of resolving it, the faster you’ll meet your point of burnout. I know this from experience!

Stop doing everything.

This is a critical business lesson for everyone, but especially if you’re ADHD. The reason we hit these mental brick walls is that we’re trying to do all the things. Burnout happens when we compromise ourselves to the point where we have nothing left to give.

Where are you doing this to yourself?

If you’re working on a side hustle – hire help before you think you can afford it. You will grow faster and more efficiently if you can create opportunities to outsource early and often. If you’re in a season where you’re pushing toward a creative goal, something else needs to give. Whether it’s asking for help with the kids, taking some vacation time just to focus on getting your book finished or giving up TV at night so you can start getting up at 5am to work before your day job – you have to give up something to make room for something else.

Asking for help is often the hardest thing for us to do, but we have to.

Women in particular aren’t great at asking for help and we can struggle with valuing our dreams. But here’s the thing – if you aren’t willing to value yourself and your desires, you won’t get where you want to go. Having a “me first” mindset is perfectly acceptable because it gives you the permission to pour into yourself before you spend the rest of your day pouring into other people and all the things you want to accomplish.

It’s okay to stop

If something is burning you out, the world won’t come to an end if you put down your passion for a while or forever. We hear so much about not quitting, but sometimes that’s the most loving thing we can do for ourselves. I went through this experience, continuing to push forward on something that was dragging me down.

It turned out that letting go was the best thing I could do in the moment, and I ended up opening myself up better opportunities!!

ADHD Burnout Takeaways

Be clear about what you’re going after and keep checking in along the way to make sure it feels right.
Get honest about your limiting beliefs and make a point of working through them (I find journaling and EFT to be very effective at working through them). It bears repeating – if you don’t get past yourself, you’ll continue to hit that mental and emotional brick wall instead of reaching your goals.
Be selfish about your dreams – invest in yourself and ask for help. You. Are. Worth. It.

The Best Job for Your ADHD Brains is Work You Love

July 20, 2021 by CM Leave a Comment

“Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life”.
Confucius

I don’t love that quote.

It not only goes against everything my parents valued (which was hard work at any cost), but it also creates a sense of failure if your job feels like work. And the truth is, I’ve never met anyone who actually has a job that doesn’t feel like a job. No one.

But for your ADHD brain, there’s some element of necessity to this statement. It’s more like “Do what you love and you won’t feel like your career is a string of misfit opportunities and personal failures”.

ADHD’ers simply can’t function if we can’t focus, and working at jobs that don’t fire up our brains can lead to mental torture, failure or both.

So how do ADHD brains find jobs we love?

Tip #1 = Identify what interests you.

For someone with ADHD that might be 472 different things (<- I can relate), but there are always a few that stand out. Typically, it’s the ideas or subjects that you keep circling back to after a cycle of distraction.

It’s also helpful to understand the intersection where your passions, talents and character strengths align. This is generally where you’re going to find sustained interest, rather than a fleeting flash-in-the-pan obsession (yes, we all have these).

Personally, I have a talent for writing, a passion for content creation and hope and optimism are high on my list of character strengths. All of these culminate into the creation of this website and my coaching practice.

Tip #2 – Think about personal struggles you’ve overcome.

Not only do you have intimate knowledge of how hard the struggle can be, but you have the compassion and confidence of having walked through it. That can be weight loss, trouble learning math, starting a small business, doing taxes or organizing a disorganized home. If you’ve lived that problem and solved it, that’s a good place to look for engaging work helping others do the same.

Tip #3 – Look for opportunities that play to your ADHD strengths, not your weaknesses.

We’re surprisingly good in a crisis because intense situations engage our brains. We’re also great at brainstorming, connecting dots and creative work (like blogging!).

We may or may not be great with keeping time, staying focused on repetitive tasks, being consistent, or organized(<-I suck so badly at this!). So look for careers that aren’t overly dependent on these qualities, unless you’re really good at them!

Get to know your ADHD strengths and blindspots

No two ADHD folks are exactly alike. We all have different strengths, weaknesses, interests and curiosities. Getting to know your strengths at work can be super valuable in finding the right work for you. I know that may sound like an obvious step, but often we don’t take the time to truly understand ourselves because we struggle to stay focused on what feels good and what doesn’t.

Our brains are wired to focus on whatever feelings are strongest for us and the reality is, we have a tendency to focus on negative thoughts and memories. This is true for everyone, but especially people with ADHD, when it comes to capturing our attention, bad is stronger than good. In psychology, this is known as the negativity bias and it’s alive and well in all of us.

Because of our negativity bias and our general distractibility, we may not notice when we’re doing work we enjoy or when we receive positive feedback on something we’ve done. That’s why it’s so important to create a practice of daily reflection and make a point to celebrate small wins. Ask yourself at the end of every day – what felt good today? When did I feel most engaged in my work? What felt good to work on today?

Journaling these reflections or using them as prompts for family dinner conversations is a great way to keep these ideas top of mind.

I can’t stress this enough – if you have ADHD, you have to be intentional about looking for your shining moments or they will be lost in the abyss of distracted thoughts. So write them down, reflect on them, and use them as data points for finding your ideal job and best work environment

Resources for Finding Your Strengths

Strengths Finder Test (Fee Based)
Via Charter Strengths (Free)
Kolbe test – (Fee Based)
Enneagram Test – (Free)

ADHD + FIRE: Why I Gave Up on Retiring Early

July 7, 2021 by CM Leave a Comment

From the moment I heard about the F.I.R.E. movement (Financial Independence, Retire Early), I was hooked.

The idea of early retirement immediately resonated with me not because I wanted to stop working and do absolutely nothing all day, but because I wanted the freedom to do whatever I want – for the rest of my life.

Fast forward 5 years later and not only am I FIRE-eligible, but I’ve come to understand why I’m obsessed with the idea of financial independence and early retirement. It turns out – I’ve got ADHD, which is the perfect bedfellow for a life of freedom (with restraints).

The ADHD Brain at Work

After digging into my diagnosis, I was surprised to learn, people with ADHD (short for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) are never deficient in attention when it comes to things they are interested in.

It’s only when we have to concentrate on topics that don’t interest us that we’re at a deficit of attention. It’s scientifically proven that people with ADHD simply cannot derive adequate dopamine levels to pay attention to things that do not interest them.

For me, that’s admin tasks like banking, taxes, or paperwork of any kind. I also struggle with systems and processes to the point where it physically hurts me to try and conform to them. As a result, I’ve spent most of my corporate career trying to find a way out, even though I’ve worked for some amazing companies and had some pretty cool jobs.

What appealed to me the most about FIRE was being empowered to choose to work or activities that aligned with my personal interests. What I didn’t realize it at the time, because I wasn’t diagnosed until recently, was that I could manage my dopamine issues by indulging in pursuits that felt personally interesting and meaningful to me.

Once I reached the goal, the thrill lasted for about 3 months.

Then, Covid hit.

My Covid-Inspired ADHD Diagnosis

Six months before Covid hit, we sold our home in the Bay Area and moved to Austin, Tx. With that move, we had enough money to retire based on our lowered cost of living, even though we were both still working. (I should also point out that it has never been my husband’s goal to retire early. That’s 100% my obsession.)

When Covid hit, our lives came to a standstill. There were no more conferences, meetups, running groups, gym time… nothing. We were home 24/7 with very little to do but watch TV. Isolation made me realize just how much work played a role in my routine and personal interactions. Meetings, networking groups, and conferences were all a big part of my day-to-day life and when they all came to an end, I realized I didn’t have much else.

The other thing I lost during that time was any sense of structure. Work and home life blurred not just for me, but for everyone that I worked with.

It was over this period, with too much time on my hands and not enough structure to keep me on track, that my undiagnosed ADHD started to become obvious. I’m so grateful for a few women I follow in social media who were open about their ADHD symptoms. After realizing how familiar it all sounded, it was time to get diagnosed.

FIRE & Interest-driven Work

Research shows that ADHD folks thrive in interest-driven careers and need a lot of structure to stay focused. When I think about this in the context of my FIRE goal, I see they are both beautifully aligned and dangerously at odds.

The beautiful thing about FIRE is that you can choose to do whatever you want. If you don’t want to retire early (the RE in FIRE), you don’t have to. You can just choose to work at whatever interests you without any concern about income. As an ADHD’er, having the freedom to direct your delicate attention to whatever you want is the perfect set up. Dopamine for days!

But what if you just retire early and don’t give any consideration to how you will spend time? Unfortunately, too much free time and not enough structure is ADHD kryptonite. We need to have purpose and structured time to keep our minds focused.

This is not about being productive for productivity’s sake. It’s about managing our brain’s propensity to ruminate, obsess about the past and beat ourselves up when we’re distracted, unfocused or bored. These are hallmark symptoms of the ADHD brain spending too much time in the Default Mode Network (DMN), an area of the brain that lights up when we’re not focused on a specific task or goal.

Conversely, when we are immersed in goal-oriented tasks that feel meaningful and interesting to us, our brain stays in the Task Positive Network (TPN). When this area of the brain lights up, we are less likely to become distracted and fall into rumination cycles because our brains are focused externally.

ADHD Brains Need to Focus (aka Work)

The beauty of “work”, whether it’s employment, running a business or even unpaid work, is that it creates a natural structure that’s familiar and predictive. It also gives our brain’s something to focus on and a sense of purpose. For me, Covid provided a glimpse into life without structure and purpose and it turns out, I didn’t love it.

What I learned is that as someone with ADHD, I’m not very good at creating structure on my own, and it’s a challenge to follow arbitrary rules that are self-imposed. It turns out, I’m at my happiest when I have something to show up for and do, most days of the week.

This is when I realized that the FIRE lifestyle is not the best option for me.

The Road Ahead is Paved with Dopamine

Now that I’m realizing I’m better off working instead of not working, I need to think about what that looks like in terms of my career choices. I’m not sad about postponing retirement. Instead, I’m focused on finding work that quite literally lights up my dopamine pathways.

Fortunately, the work I do today (consulting/writing/coaching) is interesting to me and the theme of my job is enabling change – something I thrive on. No doubt, there will come a time where I’ll want to do something different, but for now it’s the right place for me.

The most important thing I realized throughout my 5-year FIRE journey and my ADHD diagnosis, is that working toward financial independence was and still is, the best decision I have ever made for myself. Besides my health (which I also work at daily), there is no greater expression of self-love than giving yourself the option to opt out of work if you want to.

So much of consumer marketing is focused on acquiring things in the name of self-care. We work so hard to earn a living, and our cultural norm is to reward ourselves for those efforts with purchases. Yet the best thing I’ve ever given myself is the freedom (through financial independence) to choose the life I want to live based on what’s best for me.

For that, I am so grateful.

2020 Reflections and Intentions for the Year Ahead

January 1, 2021 by CM Leave a Comment

2020 needs no introduction. It was the year of the burning dumpster fire that scorched all four corners of the earth. It was nuts.

But amidst the craziness, there were so many little blessings. Rather than focusing on the pain this year caused from a global health crisis to civil unrest and a bizarre election here in the US, I choose to ponder all the goodness that also happened.

On the Home Front

As many of you know, my husband and I moved to Austin, Tx from the SF Bay Area late last year. While I still think that was a great decision for many reasons (ie, quarentining with a pool), it was also very isolating. We don’t have any friends in Austin, and once the pandemic hit, we weren’t out making any new ones, either.

While I don’t love Facetime and Zoom discussions, I’m so grateful that this technology exists. Not only do I have regular Zoom chats with my friends from all over the US, I also had 2 virtual surprise birthday parties when I turned 50 in May. It was the weirdest, most wonderful birthday ever.

Expanding our Family

This year we started fostering with the Austin Pug Rescue. So far we’ve taken in 4 dogs. Two were senior pugs that we had just for a night and the others were Chihuahuas. The first one, we named Tango (he’s still available for adoption if you’re local and looking for a love-bug). Our last one was a #fosterfail.

Little Jack is a 15 year-old PomChi that was surrendered with his sister (who is a pug). The rescue couldn’t say no to his little face, so they took him in and I agreed to foster him.

He was a mess when we got him because his teeth were so rotted. But the Pug rescue paid for his dental work and today this spunky monkey runs around our house stealing snacks and cuddles.

I’m so grateful we adopted him and I’d encourage anyone to adopt a senior pup. They’re a delight to hang out with, they sleep through the night and they know exactly where to do their business.

Money & FIRE

From a financial standpoint, 2020 was very good to me. Despite pulling a bunch of money out of the market in March (yep, I did that) only to buy back in at higher price, we still saw a sharp increase in our wealth.

Our house also went up 11% in value according to Zillow, because Austin is a hot destination right now and there’s not a ton of inventory. In fact, I’d say we’re up more than that based on the upgrades we made this year to the kitchen and bathrooms.

We had the cabinets painted and replaced the countertops.

I also had a great year with my consulting practice and my wellness blog brought in a profit for the first time! That’s what I am most proud of since I’ve been blogging for about 12 years, for free.

My desire for FIRE Sizzled out

Oooof, this is a hard thing to talk about, but this year showed me that I don’t have a lot of things I’d rather be doing than working. I want to say that’s a bad thing, but I’m not sure.

When I am writing, I feel 100% my most creative self. But the fact that I’d rather be pounding away at my laptop than traveling, seeing friends and family or even floating about in the pool is a little disconcerting.

This year has shown me that I need to find value in doing non-productive activities… ones that don’t promise more money, better health or career advancement.

In fact, listening to the book “Do Nothing” by Candice Headlee has made me painfully aware that I’ve fallen deep into the “you’re only as good as your paycheck” mentality and that’s not okay.

I’ll write more on this in January, once I’ve fully processed what all this means, but I think a mindset shift toward more living and less earning is in order.

The one place I felt completely relaxed this year – Anna Maria Island, FL.

Intentions for 2021

I heard one of my favorite people on Instagram say this and it landed so profoundly for me, I had make a meme out of it…

This year, I picked up a lot. Most felt important at the time, but in retrospect, very little of it actually was.

For 2021, I don’t have any goals. Ironically, aside from seeing my business continue to grow, I have everything I’ve ever dreamed of – family, friends, health, wealth and a home I love being in. I want for nothing, and yet, I am still not at peace.

I believe that a profound sense of peace is possible for all of us, but it won’t be found in a pair of Lululemons. Peace happens when we are true to ourselves 100% of the time, and when our choices and actions match our values.

So that is my only hope for the year ahead. To live in complete alignment with my truth, so that I may be at peace.

I wish that for all of us.

Namaste and have a happy, healthy, prosperous year ahead.

Moving to Austin (from California)… One year later

November 29, 2020 by CM Leave a Comment

It’s been a while since I updated ya’ll on our move from California to Austin. It’s hard to believe we’ve been here for a year already! Today I’m going to cover some common questions I get from readers. Hopefully it will help make your decision a little easier.

Living in Austin – One Year Later

It’s actually been a little over a year now, but who’s counting? With 14 months of Austin living under our belt, I can safely say I’m really grateful that we moved here for several reasons:

Our home is perfect for quarantining. We’ve spent a good portion of the summer, bobbing around in the pool or playing in the garden (my new favorite hobby).
It’s really easy to socially distance in the burbs. We live in a great neighborhood where people respect each other by keeping a safe distance when walking in the neighborhood. Most of us don’t wear masks when we’re outside, but we’re far enough apart that it’s safe.
The reduction in the cost of living has enabled us to save a TON more while still maintaining a good quality of life.
We have the opportunity to influence the voting direction here in Texas. In California, voting blue is a given. Here, we have a chance to create a purple state. I love that.

The top 10 things I’ve learned in our first year of Austin Living:

People here are genuine and kind.
Austinites really do covet the weirdness that Austin is known for.
The restaurant scene is better than any city in California (LA, San Francisco or San Diego). By better I mean, more interesting, more affordable and more creative.
Not all summer’s are unbearably hot. Our first summer was intolerable. This year, it’s been much better. Although we did have days that hit 100 degrees or more, they were minimal.
Weekend destinations are way less interesting than in California
The bugs are next level here.
Tacos, bourbon and queso are 100% worth the calories
It’s a lot cheaper to have an LLC here than it is in California ($400 here vs $800 there) and not paying state income tax is well, pretty freaking awesome.
Housing is affordable, property tax is not so much.

And the most important thing I’ve learned living in Austin for a year…..

10. It’s really hard to meet new people during a pandemic.

Maybe it’s just me, but I’ve found this to be a hard one to deal with. There are no meet ups, no casual coffee dates or lunches, and no reason to collide with like-minded people. Add to that, we’re all wearing masks these days, so it’s hard to connect with a new person when you can’t see their entire face.

I bring this up as a critical point as most people don’t put enough thought into social connections when making a move to a new city. In fact, studies show 30 to 50% of people who move, often regret doing so.

Let’s face it, moving is hard! It’s also expensive and takes a ton of precious time and energy. On the upside, as my mother always said, you know what it’s like to live where you are, so why not try something new?

Change is good. It challenges you and makes life interesting. I think you just need to be in the right headspace about it.
It also helps not to do it during a pandemic.

Just sayin.

Bottom line on the moving to Austin

It was a good move, even though we both miss our friends. Ironically, even my friends are missing each other because nobody is going anywhere or seeing anyone these days. So we have set up a weekly zoom happy hour to reconnect and it’s freaking awesome.

The other great thing is that this move has essentially made us financially independent. Yep, now we work because we want to (and because there is literally nothing else to do these days).

Being financially independent is a great feeling, but it comes with a contingency. That is, if we ever decide to move back to our beloved California, we will have to give up our FI status.

Bummer, dude.

Should you move to Austin?

I get this question now and again and I always say the same thing…. Why not? Life is short and adventure builds character. I’m inclined to add that California will always be there, but given the fire situation, that might not be the case.

It’s interesting that California and New York have been the top two desirable destinations in the US for a long time, but 2020 has flipped that on it’s head. Now everyone seems to be filtering out of these expensive areas for more space, less cost and slower pace of life.

What about you? Are you a California die-hard or will you opt for something different in the next 12 months?

The FIRE Movement vs Home Ownership

September 23, 2020 by CM Leave a Comment

Lately I’ve been thinking about the FIRE movement and it’s attitudes toward home ownership. Ask any FIRE-driven millennial and they’ll probably tell you that homeownership is not a fast-track to FIRE, but I disagree.

Homeownership has Accelerated my Path to FIRE

In fact, I’ve owned 5 homes (2 in Canada, 3 in the US) and all but one of them sold at a considerable profit. In fact, my back-of-the-napkin estimate is that I’ve profited over $700,000 USD from the combined sale of these homes.

Now, this doesn’t include the estimated $200,000 I’ve invested in home upgrades, most of which happened in our Bay Area home. But those upgrades elevated our Joy Score as well as ultimately increasing our profit. So even at a net gain of $500,000 (total profit minus out-of-pocket investment), that return is nothing to sneeze at.

Overall, homeownership has been good to me.

But what about mortgage interest, taxes and upkeep?

Aside from the cost of upkeep – new A/C units, pool heaters, broken toilets, and the like, which are expenses I would have avoided as a renter, the rest of it is a wash.

Yes, mortgage payments are mostly interest for a long time, but…

I’d still have to pay to live somewhere.

So even though my mortgages, with our historically low interest rates, have cost a lot, especially when you factor in property taxes and HOA fees, I’d still have to pay about the same in rent for the same space.

For example, the last two homes I rented were $3200 and $4200 per month (in LA and Silicon Valley), which combined probably cost us a total of about $160,000 over our 4(ish) years of renting. You know what i have to show for that?

Diddly squat (outside of not being homeless).

Rents Rise + Interest Falls

When my parents bought their first home in 1969 (for $25,000 CAD), the interest rate on the first mortgage was 17% and the rate on the second mortgage was 25%. Crazy, right?

When I bought my first home in 2000, my interest rate was just below 7% and that felt like a really good deal at the time. Last year, we bought the home we live in now with an interest rate of 2.85%. That’s practically free money.

Conversely, when I rented my first apartment in Richmond Hill, Ontario back in 1987 it was $400 a month for a studio apartment. About 5 years go, we were playing $4200 a month for our 2 bedroom condo in Silicon Valley. now, that’s years later and very different cities, but my salary was also a lot higher than it was in 1997.

My point here is that when you buy your home, you lock in the cost of it at a fixed rate. If you stay in that home forever (which granted, we rarely do), you would pretty much have a set living expense until you paid off the home (assuming you have a guaranteed mortgage rate for the lifetime of the loan).

Meanwhile, rents go up. You may aspire to stay in the same controlled place forever, but that’s not always your choice to make. You’re subject to inflation and ultimately you are at the mercy of market availability and cost.

Buy vs Rent? Choose your own adventure

Here’s a fun graph I pulled from the Financial Samurai. It illustrates the increase of rent in the San Francisco Bay Area since 1980. As you can see, it’s gone up, considerably.

Contrast that with the real estate market over the same period of time in San Francisco, and it paints a very similar trajectory, but very different financial outcome.

From Bay Area Market Report (Compass Reality)

I don’t know about you, but I would be willing to eat ramen noodles for a few years to enjoy the increase in home value as a homeowner in SF, rather than succumb to the crazy rental market. Yikes!

Now it goes without saying that SF is a unique market that seems to go up no matter how many fires, earth quakes or recessions it endures. That’s not true of all real estate markets, but more often than not, the most expensive markets are priced that way for a reason. And, they keep going up.

You can Quit like a millionaire, but still own your home

One of the most amazing, yet controversial books I’ve read about personal finance, is Quit Like a Millionaire. This is the story of two Canadian millennials who “retired” at the age of 30 because they had amassed a million dollars in savings.

Based on the 4% rule, they could technically live on 4% of that million dollar investment for the rest of their lives, although I think that’s unreliable math, given how young they are.

The couple also eschews the idea of homeownership as a poor financial strategy, given the high cost of living in Toronto (where they are both from). I would argue that the 2 Toronto homes I sold, and my SF Bay Area home yielded some of my biggest returns.

Because here’s the thing… as I mentioned earlier, cities that are high cost of living, tend to stay that way and retain their value over time.

Finally, the beauty of homeownership is that once you’re in the market, you not only have a roof over your head, you can continue to grow your equity over your lifetime. It’s a win-win.

Real Estate Typically Goes Up

Certainly, this isn’t the case 100% of the time, but based on historical evidence and the fact that nobody is making anymore land, the value of real estate is generally going up.

I recognize it’s not easy to get into real estate these days. Nor is it the best choice for everyone. But if you can swing it, and you enjoy investing your time and energy into maintaining it, homeownership is now, and probably always will be, a good investment.

(I caveat this by saying, I am talking about a primary residence. I’ve owned a vacation home and lost money on it, but the memories created there were 100% worth the financial cost).

How to FIRE with Homeownership in 2020

Honestly, I have zero game when it comes to real estate strategies, but I do think there’s a value in investing in emerging real estate markets. Since moving from the Bay Area to Austin, Tx, we’ve seen a steady rise in the projected value of our new home.

Interestingly, even though the pandemic has hit the Bay Area very hard, the home we sold last year has grown even more than our Texas home!

Not only do I believe in real estate as a long-term strategy, but given the pandemic, I think there’s a general trend toward investing in our homes, since it’s the only place we can really enjoy right now.

home ownership - picture of a chair in a living room — *Pin for Later*

Final Thoughts

I’m sure there are lots of great counter-arguments to what I’ve written here, but there’s one underlying reality that makes me continuously bullish on real estate – home is important.

I’m all for nomadic, adventurous periods in life, renting when it makes sense and having flexibility to consider every housing option possible, but as someone who has traveled the world more than once, I can honestly say, nothing is more valuable than the security of home.