4 ADHD Habits That Are Making Your Life Harder (And How to Break Them)

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Are you an adult with ADHD who feels like you’re constantly swimming upstream? Whether you were diagnosed as a child or in your fifties (like me), there are four fundamental habits that might be making your life a whole lot harder than it needs to be.

Let’s break them down and discover how to create more ease, lightness, and enjoyment in your ADHD life.

Habit #1: “I Can’t Because of My ADHD”

Have you ever caught yourself saying something like this?

I once had a client – a brilliant doctor – who told me, “I want to walk for 10 minutes each day, but you know, ADHD… can’t get it done.”

That stopped me in my tracks.

This smart, accomplished person had unconsciously created a story that her ADHD prevented her from taking a 10-minute walk.

We do this all the time: “I can’t do my taxes… clean my house… maintain a happy relationship… because of my ADHD.”

Here’s the truth: There’s nothing a person with ADHD can’t accomplish that a neurotypical person can. We might have to approach it differently. It might take longer or require more energy – but from a diagnostic standpoint, there’s nothing we simply cannot do.

These limiting beliefs give us a “ticket” to not even try, which is such a disservice to ourselves.

Action step: Notice when you blame your ADHD for something you “can’t” do. Challenge that thought. Ask yourself: “How might I approach this differently in a way that works for my brain?”

Habit #2: Giving Too Much Airtime to Negative Thoughts

ADHDers tend to fixate on mistakes, failures, and perceived screw-ups. These thoughts become dominant in our minds, thanks to something called negative cognitive bias.

This isn’t just annoying – it literally changes your brain chemistry:

• Negative rumination increases cortisol, norepinephrine, and adrenaline
• Meanwhile, it reduces dopamine and serotonin
• This chemical cascade makes everything harder AND feels terrible

When your happy chemicals are low and stress hormones are high, nothing feels good. You feel numb or sad, stressed, and physically unwell.

I’m not suggesting we should only think positive thoughts. That’s unrealistic.

What I am suggesting is that paying attention to your thoughts and being aware when you’re leaning too heavily into negative thoughts can have a drastic improvement on your life experience.

Action step: When you catch yourself ruminating, use this pattern interrupt: “This is my negative thought. I’m not going to push it down, but what’s the opposite that’s also true?”

For every negative thought, find a positive counterbalance that’s equally true. This neutralizes your brain chemistry and makes everything easier.

Habit #3: Looking Outside Yourself for Answers

This habit took me until age 53 to even recognize, let alone change!

We have this tendency to believe that the answers to all our questions lie somewhere outside ourselves. Whether it’s what to eat for dinner, who to marry, or whether to take a job – we Google, ask ChatGPT, poll our friends, and seek everyone else’s opinions.

I’ve realized this is exactly the wrong approach for finding the right answers for YOU.

While gathering information from others is valuable, the final answers must come from within. Otherwise, you’re simply reacting to life instead of intentionally creating it.

Action step: Develop a mind-body connection by asking yourself:

1. What does a “yes” feel like in my body? (For me, it’s warmth and tingling in my heart center)
2. What does a “no” feel like? (For me, it’s a gut feeling of dread)

Your language might be different – maybe you lean in for yes, or feel expanded versus contracted. The important thing is creating YOUR unique body language for decision-making.

Once you have this language, you can literally ask your body anything and get clear guidance from within.

Habit #4: Never Consciously Completing Things

This is something I’m still working on myself, and I see it in every ADHD adult.

Our brains are wired for novelty, so we’re constantly picking up new projects, ideas, and to-dos. But when the novelty wears off, we drop things and move on – without consciously completing them first.

The problem isn’t that we move on (that’s probably inevitable). The problem is that we take the shame and guilt with us, creating a heavy emotional burden. We walk around thinking, “I start things and never finish them. That’s just what I do.”

Action step: Create a completion ritual. When you’re ready to move on from something, consciously say to yourself:

• “This is complete for now.”
• “It’s not complete, but I feel complete with it.”
• “I might come back to this later, but for now, I’m done.”

Give yourself that mindful moment of closure instead of just dropping things like hot potatoes. The difference is incredible.

I’ve been practicing this at work – before switching tasks, I pause and say, “This might not be fully done, but as far as I’m concerned, it’s complete.” Then I close that tab rather than leaving it open to create cognitive clutter.

Your Turn to Break the Habits

These four habits might seem small, but breaking them creates a profound difference. Life feels lighter. Tasks feel easier. Your internal weather improves dramatically.

I’ve been working hard to break these habits so I can feel lighter, make things easier, and just have a better go at life.

Which of these habits resonates most with you? If you decide to work on breaking one, I’d love to hear about it in the comments below.

Remember: self-awareness is always the first step toward transformation.