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Whether it’s rejection-sensitive dysphoria or a lack of self-trust, fear often holds us back from pursuing our dreams and goals. In this post, I’m going to break down practical steps for expanding your nervous system’s capacity to tackle scary things and follow through on your goals. By the end of this, you’ll have actionable steps to boost your ADHD confidence and move forward with your aspirations.
Understanding the ADHD Brain
Before we dive into the steps, let’s understand what’s happening in our ADHD brains. Our brains are wired to protect us, often holding us back from taking action because of past failures or fears. This protective mechanism is rooted in our amygdala, the so-called “drama queen” of the brain, which triggers fear responses. Meanwhile, our prefrontal cortex, responsible for planning, prioritizing, and regulating emotions, often gets sidelined. For those with ADHD, the executive function impairment means we need specific support to manage these challenges.
The rest of this blog post will help you do just that.
Step 1: Get Clear on What You Want
The first step in overcoming fear is to get super clear on what you want to achieve. This clarity helps create an emotional connection to your goals, providing the motivation needed to start and finish tasks. Take a moment to grab a piece of paper and a pen and write down your vision. As you write, acknowledge any fear but focus on what you genuinely desire. This exercise helps you face your fears head-on and define your true aspirations.
Step 2: Acknowledge and Understand Your Fear
Fear comes from the amygdala, which is part of our prehistoric brain designed to protect us from danger. When we perceive something as scary, real or imagined, our amygdala sends a message to the hypothalamus, triggering our nervous system into fight or flight mode. Understanding this mechanism helps us realize that our fear is a natural response, not a personal failing.
Step 3: Engage Your Senses to Calm Your Nervous System
When fear strikes, the best way to calm your nervous system is by engaging your senses. Here’s a simple exercise to try:
- Slow Your Breath: Take slow, deep breaths through your nose (or mouth if necessary).
- Massage Your Fingers: Gently rub your thumb and pointer finger together, focusing on the sensation.
- Listen to Sounds: Identify the furthest and closest sounds you can hear.
- Focus on Your Surroundings: With eyes open or closed, notice what catches your attention.
This exercise helps shift your focus from your thoughts to your body, calming your nervous system and allowing your prefrontal cortex to re-engage.
Step 4: Daily Practices for a Calm Nervous System
In addition to in-the-moment exercises, incorporating daily practices that calm your nervous system is crucial. Activities like yoga, meditation, or walking outside can significantly reduce your overall stress levels. Find what works for you—prayer, baths with Epsom salts, or any activity that brings you peace. Create routines around these practices to make them a regular part of your life.
Step 5: Revisit Your Goals with a Calmer Mind
Now, let’s return to the vision you wrote down. Read it again and notice how it feels. If fear starts creeping back in, engage in deep breathing and finger massaging exercises. This helps you focus on your goals with a calmer mind. You’re rewiring your nervous system, expanding your capacity to handle fear and move forward.
Step 6: Break Down Your Steps
On a piece of paper, draw a line down the middle. On one side, write down all the steps your brain tells you are too hard or that you’ll never follow through with. On the other side, write down how you would approach these steps if they were easy and manageable. This might involve breaking them down further or taking more time, but the key is to move forward in a way that feels less daunting.
Step 7: Take One Small Step
Identify one small, manageable step you can take right now towards your goal. It could be as simple as Googling an answer or making a small plan. Complete this task immediately and then take a moment to acknowledge that you’ve made progress. Celebrate this small victory as proof that you can move forward, even if it’s just one step at a time.
To Manage Your Mind, Manage Your Nervous System
Managing your mind is key to living an authentic life. By showing up as your true self and pursuing what you genuinely want, you optimize your energy in the prefrontal cortex, where your confidence and ability to follow through reside. Remember, it’s about managing your mind by managing your nervous system—using a bottom-up approach to calm your body, which in turn calms your mind.
On a personal note, having a regular yoga practice has been transformative for me. On the days I practice, I’m more productive and grounded. Find what works for you and incorporate it into your daily routine.
Success = Body Mind Alignment
What is it that you truly want in life? Write it down and see how it feels in your body. If it feels scary, start incorporating these simple practices to expand your nervous system’s capacity to take action. The more you work on this, the calmer your nervous system will be, and the better you’ll handle new challenges and manage your emotions, leading to greater success and happiness.
I hope you find this helpful. Remember, confidence is within your reach, and with these steps, you can build your ADHD confidence and achieve your dreams. Thanks for reading, and I look forward to hearing about your progress.
Stay confident, and keep moving forward!
xo
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