Head's up, there could be affiliate links ahead!
Let me just say it up front: I hate uncertainty.
I mean, I really hate it.
And if you have ADHD, maybe you get it.
We don’t just dislike not knowing what’s next—we often can’t function in it. Our brains are wired to seek stimulation, to seek closure, to finish the loop. But when we’re in a season of uncertainty? There is no loop. Just an open tab… spinning.
A Personal Season of Limbo
Right now, I’m in a weird season.
We’re trying to sell our house, but the market’s been unpredictable (read: dead quiet). Days go by with no showings.
But it’s not just the house. It’s everything. Global politics. Climate. The economy. People’s moods. It’s all changing, quickly and often without warning.
And it’s hitting me hard—mentally and emotionally.
Why Uncertainty Is Especially Hard for ADHD Brains
ADHD isn’t just about focus—it’s also about regulation. Of emotion. Of time. Of energy. And uncertainty? It wrecks all three.
Here’s why:
- We need predictability to feel safe. Even if we’re impulsive, there’s comfort in knowing what comes next.
- We struggle with object permanence. If we can’t see the result (yet), it’s hard to believe it will happen.
- We hyperfocus on worst-case scenarios. When the future is blurry, our brains fill in the blanks—usually with disaster.
Sound familiar?
Maybe you’ve been there—refreshing your email, waiting on a client reply, wondering if that thing you launched is going to flop. Telling yourself to “just be patient” while your nervous system sprints a marathon.
The Two Extremes: Chicken Little vs. Delusional Confidence
As I’ve been sitting with my own discomfort, I’ve noticed that most people (myself included) respond to uncertainty in one of two ways.
1. Freak Out (Chicken Little Energy)
This is where I live most naturally.
When I feel unsure, I prep for the worst. I imagine every possible disaster scenario, down to the last detail. It feels… productive. Like I’m doing something. But really, it’s just my brain grasping for certainty—even if that certainty is negative.
Example: A friend of mine is going through a rough patch—marriage tension, job questions, money stuff, kid stuff. All at once. And the story she’s telling herself? It’s straight-up doomsday. “What if we lose everything? What if we end up divorced and broke and stuck?”
And I get it. Because when your brain believes something bad is definitely going to happen, it feels safer than not knowing what will happen at all.
That’s the twist: we’ll take the certainty of disaster over the discomfort of not knowing.
But that fear-based certainty? It changes how we behave. We stop taking risks. We shrink. We make choices from a place of scarcity, not creativity.
And without realizing it, we live into the story our brain made up.
2. Delusional Confidence
Then there’s the other extreme: the people who bulldoze ahead with over-the-top optimism.
You know the ones. Nothing rattles them. Everything is “amazing!” even when it clearly isn’t.
And I’ll be honest—sometimes I envy them.
Because here’s the wild part: sometimes their confidence creates their success. They believe they’ll land the deal, finish the launch, get the house, whatever… and because they believe it so deeply, they take aligned action. They speak with conviction. They show up like it’s already done.
And again—they live into the story their brain made up.
The Illusion of Certainty
Here’s the truth I keep coming back to:
Certainty is a lie we tell ourselves to feel better.
Nobody really knows what’s going to happen. Not tomorrow. Not next year. Not in business, not in life.
The economy could shift.
The client could ghost.
The relationship could end.
Or the opposite could happen.
So if any certainty is made up, why not choose beliefs that serve us?
Why not create mental certainty that aligns with who we want to become—not what we’re scared might happen?
How to Deal with Uncertainty (For Real)
If you’re in a season of not knowing, here are a few things that help me regulate:
1. Name It
Call it what it is. “I’m feeling anxious because things are uncertain right now.” That simple act of acknowledgment calms your nervous system. Your brain likes language. Give it some.
2. Ask What You’re Certain About
Not out in the world—in yourself.
What are you certain about in you?
I’m certain I can figure things out.
I’m certain I show up even when it’s hard.
I’m certain I care deeply and try my best.
That’s the kind of certainty worth anchoring to.
3. Interrupt Worst-Case Thinking
When your brain spirals, pause and ask:
Is this story helpful?
If not, can you rewrite it—even a little?
4. Focus on What You Can Control
I can’t control the housing market.
I can control how I care for myself today.
I can eat lunch.
I can move my body.
I can create something instead of consuming.
It’s not about controlling outcomes. It’s about directing energy toward what’s actually within reach.
5. Create Structure Where You Can
This one’s huge for ADHD’ers. A little structure goes a long way.
Simple rhythms. Morning rituals. Evening shutdown routines. These things help soothe the chaos when everything else feels open-ended.
Believe in Something Helpful
If your brain is going to believe something—and let’s be real, it will—then let it be a belief that serves you.
Something like:
“I don’t know exactly how things will play out… but I trust myself to handle it.”
That one belief has changed everything for me.
You don’t need certainty about the outcome.
You just need certainty that you’ll show up for it.
Leave a Comment