Head's up, there could be affiliate links ahead!
I recently had a powerful ADHD coaching session with a successful entrepreneur who perfectly illustrated one of the most common struggles I see among ADHD business owners: the inability to distinguish between “I can do this” and “I should do this.”
The Surface Problem vs. The Real Problem
My client, a member of my ADHD Business Hub community, came to me with what seemed like a straightforward time management issue. She was:
- Working 15-hour days consistently
- Constantly feeling behind despite having working systems
- Scrambling to prepare for commitments at the last minute
- Experiencing chronic overwhelm and burnout
But as we dug deeper, what emerged wasn’t a planning problem or a lack of systems. It was something much more fundamental.
The “Good Girl” Trap
During our conversation, a telling phrase slipped out: “I’ve always been the girl who does a lot.”
She’d built her identity around being capable, getting validation from being the person who could handle everything while others struggled (<- I can relate). This isn’t uncommon among high-achieving women, especially those with ADHD. We learn early that our worth comes from productivity.
The problem: When your validation comes from “doing it all,” you lose the ability to make strategic choices about what actually deserves your attention.
The Validation Metrics Trap
My client had multiple successful revenue streams but was torturing herself over vanity metrics that didn’t align with her business goals. She was comparing herself to others in her industry who used completely different strategies.
Her honest admission: “My little internal validation voice desperately wants views and subscribers and people to love me. That’s really ridiculous, doesn’t it?”
It’s not ridiculous—it’s human. But it was driving her to prioritize activities that fed her ego instead of her bank account.
The “I’ll Figure It Out” Mentality
The most revealing moment came when she described her planning process. She’d create a to-do list that would realistically take 33 hours and think: “You’re just gonna have to figure it out until it gets done.”
This is where the ADHD brain can be both our superpower and our kryptonite:
- Superpower: We’re incredibly resourceful and can often pull off seemingly impossible deadlines
- Kryptonite: When “I’ll figure it out” becomes your default planning strategy, you’re choosing chaos over strategy
The Breakthrough Questions
The turning point came when I asked her to clarify her ultimate business goal. After reflection, she realized everything she wanted came down to one metric: revenue.
Once we established that revenue was the priority, choices became clearer. She had multiple time-intensive activities generating similar income, but some drained her energy while others energized her.
The real work wasn’t about choosing what to cut—it was about changing the internal narrative that equated “doing less” with “being less.”
The Tools vs. Mindset Reality
Throughout our conversation, my client kept looking for the perfect system—the right planner, the ideal app, the ultimate productivity method. She’d tried countless solutions, always believing the next one would solve her overwhelm.
Here’s what I told her, and what every overwhelmed entrepreneur needs to hear:
You cannot plan your way out of an unrealistic schedule.
No tool will add more hours to your day. No system will make an impossible workload suddenly manageable. The work isn’t finding better tools—it’s getting honest about what’s actually possible.
The Permission to Do Less
The most powerful moment wasn’t when we identified what to cut—it was when I gave her permission to view her business activities as tools she owned, not masters she served.
For someone who’d been beating herself up for not maintaining perfect consistency across all platforms, this reframe was revolutionary. She could use her energy strategically rather than forcing herself into unsustainable schedules.
The Real Work Begins
By the end of our session, my client had profound clarity:
“I think there’s a lot of inner work that I probably need to work on. I think I’ve always been blaming the tools, and I think there’s probably a step before that where I’m the problem.”
This wasn’t about blame—it was about empowerment. Once you recognize that the bottleneck isn’t your systems but your relationship with productivity itself, you can start making different choices.
Key Takeaways for ADHD Entrepreneurs
1. Question Your Capacity Assumptions
Just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should. Practice the pause before saying yes to new projects.
2. Align Your Metrics with Your Goals
If revenue is your priority, track revenue-generating activities—not vanity metrics that feed your ego but starve your business.
3. Examine Your Validation Sources
If your self-worth comes from “doing it all,” you’ll never be able to make strategic choices about what truly matters.
4. Data Beats Internal Narratives
When your inner critic says you’re not doing enough, let your actual business metrics have the final say.
5. You Own Your Tools
Whether it’s social media, email marketing, or any other business activity—these are tools that serve you. They don’t own you.
Do you resonate with the desire to “do it all”?
If you do, trust me, you’re not alone. I battle this in my own business, and so do the members of my ADHD Business Hub community. It’s a work in progress, and the minute we seem to have everything under control, a new bright sparkly idea arises.
If you can relate, and you want help, consider joining us in the ADHD business hub!
Leave a Comment