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woman putting her hand out getting what she wants

ADHD + Personal Development    ADHD Time + Energy    Blog

How to get what you want (without effort)

Caren Magill, MA, ACC, AACC,, MA, AACC, ACC
July 28, 2021

Head's up, there could be affiliate links ahead!


woman getting what she wants

How to get what you really want is a juicy topic, so grab a glass of cab and settle in. It’s a powerful concept and it works!

how to get what you want

Desire is a funny thing.

It directs our intentions and actions, but it also comes with a ton of baggage. We desire things/people/experiences and therefore we attach an expectation to the actions we take to get what we want.

We desire a strong, fit body so we work out regularly and eat well and therefore should expect a brilliant physique to appear.

But maybe it doesn’t.

Then we get upset.

We push harder

We workout more

We restrict more

The more we push, restrict and workout, the less progress we see. But why?

Because progress can’t happen when it’s up against powerful resistance.

—> progress —> | <— resistance <—

All that pushing and restricting is really just resistance and resistance is the antithesis of progress and flow.

So how do you get what you want?

Listen to your heart, do what feels right and let go of the outcome.

Trust that it will happen if it’s supposed to happen.

Trust the process and move on with your life.

It’s the same as saving money, building a business or creating a work of art. You have to let it come from a place of desire, but not from expectation. Because as Patanjali has assured us, we’re entitled to the work, but we’re not entitled to the fruits of our labor.

So if you can’t push, what can you do instead?

  • Take action toward your goals, but don’t force it.
  • Do what feels good then trust that it’s enough.
  • Make your effort about the journey, not the destination.
  • Enjoy the process. Don’t white knuckle it.
  • Be focused and diligent in your action, but then step back and trust that the seeds are planted and that they just need time and space to grow.
  • Focus on cultivating positive energy.  This, along with gratitude will bring you close to your goals.

By the Way, the rate of growth is not up to you.

It’s up to the universe.

woman putting her hand out getting what she wants

How to Get What You Want Without Efforting

I’m not suggesting that you shouldn’t go for what it is you want, but I am suggesting that you take action that flows. Don’t do things that don’t feel aligned or true to you. That never works. And when the day is done and your head hits the pillow, trust that you’ve done your part. Leave the rest to divine intervention.

This may sound a little woo-woo, (and it is), but it’s also the process of change. It’s managing resistance while taking inspired action toward a desired future state. It’s formulaic and it works.

Next Steps |

  1. Grab your journal and ask yourself – what is it that you truly want? At the top of the page, write down the one thing you want more than anything else right now.  That thing you’ve been efforting towards.
  2. Then, draw a vertical line down the middle of the page.  On the left side of the page, write down all the things you’re doing right now to achieve it (it might be a lot, or it might be nothing!)  This will be an eye-opener.
  3. On the right side of the page, write down all the ways you can take inspired action, based on your signature strengths.  
  4. Create three tasks you can take action on this week, and add them to your calendar or planner.

Use this method to influence your approach to health and fitness, relationships, work, and finances.  Regardless of what your goal is, this framework will help you create positive change. Trust me, it WORKS!

woman getting what she wants
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About the Author

Caren Magill, MA, ACC, AACC,

Caren Magill is a Certified ADHD Coach. She works with ADHD business owners and fellow ADHD Coaches to create businesses that support their neurodiversity while making an impact.

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Hi, I’m Caren

I'm a fellow ADHDer with a mind that works faster than a quick-dry nail polish. I have figured out how to master my ADHD brain through self-care, intentional productivity and simple lifestyle adjustments and I'm here to help you do the same.

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