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Recently I made a big decision that I later regretted, backed out of my commitment and then proceeded to shame myself for it. I’m sharing it here so you can avoid making the same #ADHD mistake.
I shuttered my membership program three months after launching it (listen to the full story here).
People had joined. It was making money. From the outside, it looked successful.
But I felt heavy every time someone new signed up. Creating content felt forced. I was spending more energy convincing myself it was working than actually… well, working.
When I finally pulled the plug, the shame spiral hit hard.
Here we go again. You always quit. You’re inconsistent. Why can’t you just follow through like everyone else?
Sound familiar?
The Myth of “Never Quitting Things”
We’ve been sold this story that successful people never quit anything. But think about it…would you tell someone to stay in a job that’s destroying their mental health? To keep dating someone who makes them miserable? To stick with a hobby that brings them zero joy?
Of course not.
Yet when it comes to our own projects, commitments, and business ventures, we suddenly act like quitting is some moral failing.
Here’s the truth: sometimes the most successful thing you can do is walk away.
How to Quit Without the Self-Attack
Here’s what I wish someone had told me earlier: the shame isn’t proof you made the wrong choice. It’s just a pattern you can learn to interrupt.
ONE. Zoom out and look at the facts.
Was shutting down the membership truly impulsive? No. I’d been thinking about it for months (honestly, from before I even launched it).
Did I handle it with integrity? Yes. I communicated clearly and made sure everyone was taken care of.
Did I learn something valuable? Absolutely.
When you strip away the emotional noise, the story usually looks very different.
TWO. Separate who you are from what didn’t work.
Just because something doesn’t pan out doesn’t mean you’re the problem. It means you tried something, gathered information, and made an adjustment.
That’s not failure. That’s how growth actually works.
THREE. Expect mixed emotions.
Even when quitting is the right call, you might still feel disappointed. That’s normal. You can feel relief and regret at the same time. Let both be true.
Why Your ADHD Brain Wants to Quit
If you’ve got an ADHD brain, this hits different. We’re already carrying stories about being inconsistent, impulsive, or unable to finish things.
But what if those stories aren’t true?
What if you’re not flaky—you’re just learning what works for you faster than most people?
What if you’re not giving up—you’re making space for something better aligned?
Your willingness to pivot isn’t a character flaw. It’s a superpower.
The Real Reason to Quit (And When Not To)
Quit when:
- You’re forcing it and it’s draining your energy
- You’ve learned what you needed to learn
- It’s no longer aligned with who you’re becoming
- You’re doing it for someone else’s approval
Don’t quit when:
- You’re just hitting the messy middle (that’s normal)
- You’re scared but still excited
- You haven’t given it a real chance yet
- You’re quitting to avoid discomfort rather than misalignment
The difference? Pay attention to your body. Forcing feels heavy. Growth feels challenging but energizing.
What I Do Now (When I Want to Quit)
When I feel the urge to quit something, I pause and ask:
Is this a pattern I need to break, or information I need to trust?
Am I running away from difficulty, or toward alignment?
What would I tell a friend in this situation?
Usually, the answer becomes clear pretty quickly.
Your Permission Slip to Quit
You don’t need anyone’s permission to change direction. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for why something that once fit no longer does.
You’re allowed to try things and not like them. You’re allowed to change your mind. You’re allowed to prioritize your energy and attention.
That’s not failure. That’s life.
So if there’s something you’ve been forcing yourself to stick with—something that feels heavy and draining and wrong—maybe it’s time to consider that quitting isn’t giving up.
Maybe it’s making space for what’s actually meant for you.
The shame spiral is optional. The growth is inevitable.
Trust yourself. You know what you need.
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