Mastering ADHD Follow Through: Navigating the Valley of Despair

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Have you ever started a project with excitement only to abandon it when things got tough? For those of us with ADHD, this pattern can feel frustratingly familiar. The good news? Understanding the “Valley of Despair” can transform your ability to follow through and complete what matters most.

Why ADHD Follow Through Is So Challenging

ADHD brains are dopamine-seeking and novelty-loving. Starting something new gives us a dopamine hit that feels amazing, but continuing through the difficult middle stages can feel nearly impossible when that initial excitement fades.

I see this pattern play out with my clients constantly, and I’ll be honest—even after years of coaching others, I still experience it myself.

The 5 Stages of Behavior Change (And Where ADHD Brains Get Stuck)

Understanding this cycle, developed by Psychologist Don Kelley and Daryl Conner, is your first defense against getting trapped in it:

1. Uninformed Enthusiasm: “This idea is amazing! I can’t wait to get started!”
2. Informed Pessimism: “This is harder than I thought, but I’m still going.”
3. The Valley of Despair: “This is too difficult. I don’t think I can do this.”
4. Informed Optimism: “It’s challenging, but I understand why it’s worth continuing.”
5. Success/Completion: “I did it, and it feels amazing to have finished.”

Here’s the ADHD trap: We tend to cycle between stages 1-3, repeatedly abandoning projects in the Valley of Despair and chasing new ideas for that dopamine hit, never reaching stages 4 and 5.

This pattern damages both our dopamine regulation (completion actually provides sustainable dopamine) and our self-identity (“I never finish anything”).

3 Powerful Strategies to Improve ADHD Follow Through

1. Manage Your Dopamine Intentionally

Your brain’s ability to push through challenges directly correlates with your overall dopamine regulation:

Sustainable dopamine builders:

• Regular exercise
• Quality sleep
• Hydration
• Nature exposure
• Meaningful social connection
• Activities where you can be fully yourself

Dopamine-depleting activities to minimize:

• Excessive social media scrolling
• High sugar consumption
• Alcohol and other substances
• Compulsive shopping

When your overall dopamine regulation is stronger, you’ll have more resilience to push through difficult phases of projects.

2. Implement a “Pause Practice” Before Starting Something New

Before committing to a new project:

✅ Ask: “Is this aligned with my genuine interests and values?”

✅ Reflect: “Am I emotionally invested in the outcome?”

✅ Consider: “Have I thought through what this will actually require?”

The pause practice isn’t about saying no to everything—it’s about making conscious choices rather than impulsively chasing dopamine hits.

3. Use Your Awareness as a Navigation Tool

When you feel yourself sliding into the Valley of Despair:

1. Name it: “I recognize I’m in the Valley of Despair right now.”
2. Assess: “Is this still emotionally worth the investment?”
3. Choose consciously: Either recommit or mindfully step away.

If you do choose to step away from a project, don’t immediately jump to something new. Take time to understand what happened so you can make better decisions next time.

The Perfectionism Complication

Perfectionism often accompanies ADHD and makes follow-through even harder. It adds an extra layer of difficulty on top of executive function challenges.

Break the Perfectionism Cycle:

Before starting any project:

1. Define what “done” looks like specifically
2. Decide what “good enough” means for this particular project
3. Set clear boundaries around time or scope

Try saying: “I’ll work on this for 3 hours on Saturday, and whatever I accomplish in that time is good enough.”

Or: “Once I’ve completed these three specific elements, I’m considering this project complete.”

Having a clear finish line allows you to complete the behavior change cycle and experience the dopamine reward that comes with completion.

Your ADHD Follow Through Navigation Checklist

When starting any project, ask yourself:

1. Why am I doing this?
2. What emotional connection do I have to the outcome?
3. How will I handle the inevitable difficult parts?
4. What specifically defines “done”?
5. What level of quality is “good enough” for this project?

These questions serve as your navigational tools, especially when pushing through the Valley of Despair.

Embracing the Journey

Improving your ability to follow through is itself a journey with its own valleys. Treat yourself with compassion when you struggle, while continuing to build your awareness of these patterns.

The fact that you’re reading this shows you’re already working to strengthen your ADHD follow through muscles. With each conscious choice to push through a valley or mindfully step away, you’re rebuilding trust with yourself—perhaps the most valuable outcome of all.

Next Steps for Improving Your ADHD Follow Through

• Identify one current project where you might be in the Valley of Despair
• Apply the Navigation Checklist questions to that project
• Make a conscious choice: recommit with clear boundaries or mindfully step away
• Practice your pause ritual before taking on anything new this week

What valley are you currently navigating, and which of these strategies will you try first? Your ADHD brain is capable of remarkable follow through when you understand how to work with it rather than against it.