How to Focus Your Mind on What You REALLY Want (Even with ADHD)

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Want to focus your mind on what you really want and finally get it? In this post and podcast I’m walking you through a 5-Step process for getting clear on your goal, setting up a plan to support it and most importantly manage your thoughts about how likely you are to achieve it.

Ready to create momentum in your life? Let’s do this.

1. Choose only ONE thing to focus your mind on

The first principle of focusing your mind on what you really want, is to figure out what that thing is and being clear that it’s the most important thing in the moment. It doesn’t have to be your highest priority forever, but until it’s a reality for you, it should be your only priority.

Personally I think anything more than one goal at a time is probably too much for those of us who struggle overwhelm and follow through, especially since we have to balance it with the responsibilities of being an adult.

2. Define what success looks like.

It’s hard to know if you’ve been successful at something unless you know what you’re aiming for. This step is super important because it becomes your goalpost, signifying that you’ve completed your goal so you can celebrate your success and integrate that awareness into your identity.

This is critical for people who believe they never finish anything. By acknowledging you’ve completed a task or goal before moving onto the next thing, you integrate this awareness into your identity so you start believing you’re someone that finishes what you start.

Most importantly, this is also the point where you get to move on to the next thing you’ve been dying to get started on! Yay you!

3. Define your Progress to Success

Every outcome goal worth achieving deserves a process goal to support it. This is not a net new goal, but it’s the way you’re going to execute on your outcome goal, hold yourself accountable to it, and know that you’re on track to achieving it.

For example, if your outcome goal is to launch a side hustle while you’re working a full time job, your progress goal might be to schedule 4 hours a week to focus on your new project and make sure you honor it. If your goal is to lose weight, your process goal might be to go to the gym 4 times a week.

Defining how you’re going to be successful is just as important as declaring what it is you want. Don’t skip this step!

4. Focus Your Mind On Your One Thing

At this point, you should know what it is your going after (Your ONE outcome goal) and how you’re going to do it (your progress goal) and what success will look like. Now it’s time for the most important step, which is to build your belief that your goal is possible.

Here’s the thing – if somewhere in your mind there’s a belief that hinders you from moving forward, then even the best laid plans will not outsmart your limiting beliefs.

Now this is where having a coach can really super charge your results, no matter what they are.

Why? Because your success is limited to your capacity to believe it’s possible for you. For example, If you’ve tried and failed at weight loss in the past, unless you can foster a different belief, you’ll just try and fail again in the future. It’s that simple.

So how do we build belief in our goal (and ourselves)?

If you don’t have the resources to work with a coach, check out The Work, by Byron Katie. Essentially, her model is to question your thoughts, turn them around and poke holes in them. This process is helpful for loosening your grip on your limiting beliefs.

I also like the work of Albert Ellis, a psychologist that came up with the ABCDE Model for thought change. You may have heard of other coaches using a similar model, but this is where it came from.

Adversity or Activating Event – What actually happened? Or what is the circumstance?
Belief – What is my belief and unmet expectation?
Consequence – How do I feel as a result of these beliefs and expectations?
Dispute – Is my belief really true?  Are there alternate ways of looking at this that are also true?
Effects of replacing B – Ask yourself, If I believe what’s in the B line, how do I feel?  If I believe instead what’s in the D line, do I feel better?   What’s the best belief for me to hold on to, based on this evaluation?

This model is very effective for work through irrational or limiting beliefs. I recommend keeping a copy of it in your journal.

5. Know Your Why and How Badly You Want it.

This is the last point I’m going to make on this because it’s important and it’s the piece that makes follow-through possible. So I encourage you to answer the following for yourself…

• Why do you want this to be your one thing?
• Why is that important to you?
• Why is it important to you right now?
• What do you risk losing or not having if you give up before you achieve this one thing?
• Can you live with that?
• What are you willing to give up (be it time, energy and money) to achieve your one thing?
• Do you want this badly enough that you will focus your undivided attention on it until it’s complete?
• Is there anything in your mind or in your external reality that may hold you back from achieving it?
• What are you willing to do to remove that obstacle?

I think if you can answer those questions clearly and confidently, then you’ve got yourself a winner winner chicken dinner of a goal and a strong enough why to really focus your mind on achieving it.

Ready to Focus Your Mind on What You REALLY Want?

To wrap up, we’ve covered the what (your outcome goal) the how (the process goal), and your very important why. We’ve also addressed how to combat limiting beliefs that should never be underestimated. This is often the “one thing” that holds us back.

Believe it or not, achieving what you want is really this simple. Although I’m not saying it’s easy. It’s not.

If you are excited to move ahead with your one thing, and you want personalized 1-1 support to see it through to completion, I invite you to set up a free discovery call with me to see if we might be good fit. You can also review my 1-1 coaching packages here.

FAQs on Focusing Your Mind to Get What You Want

How long do I have to focus on my one thing?

I think it depends on whether it’s a target goal (like a revenue number or a weight on the scale) or a habit goal. Targets are easy. Once you’ve hit your mark, you’re done.

Habit goals are harder to define, so you have to give yourself time to get into a consistent rhythm. Give yourself at least 2 months if its a new behavior. 66 days is supposed to be the average time it takes the average person to pick up a new habit.

Do I really have to only focus on one thing?

You can do whatever you want! But know this – every time you put more than one thing on your plate to focus on, your energy is split in half and your results will most likely follow suit.

What if I don’t believe I can be successful?

I’d ask you why you’d want to choose a thought like that? If you’re basing future success on past experiences, then you’re fooling yourself. If mutual funds can say that past performance is not a guarantee of future success (or failure), then so can you.

What if I can’t decide on my one thing?

Typically this happens when a client is reluctant to believe they can follow-through on their one thing. They want plan B, C and D so they can switch to it when things get hard with their A plan.

This is a recipe for failure. When you’re focused on too many things, nothing is a priority and you end up making a millimeter of progress in a million directions. You deserve to give yourself the chance to make your juiciest goal a reality, so bet on yourself and get after it.